Tell a story about Vivian

Submitted by
Name: Genevieve Leroux
From: Ottawa, Ontario

Your Story:
My sincere condolences go to Vivian’s family and friends. She was truly a lovely woman and I feel blessed to have known her. She was exceedingly kind to me when we met in Fall 2009, just after I started working in her former position as Coordinator of the NPSIA Resource Centre. She spent hours with me, taking me under her wing and showing me the ropes. I was, and will remain, extremely grateful for the time she spent training me, which went beyond expectations. She was patient, open and thorough, and her guidance and mentorship has meant a great deal to me. I vividly recall the last time I thanked her - she smiled and said ‘Always happy to help.’

Vivian provided a remarkable service to the NPSIA / Carleton community. She was very dedicated to helping students in professional and personal ways. She was very interested in knowing how our alumni carry on in life; she seemed to care a great deal about them and their endeavors. I have heard numerous times ‘Oh, you’ve replaced Vivian! Very big shoes to fill.’ She went above and beyond to help and care for others.

One of my fondest memories of Vivian was when she smiled and winked at me at the NPSIA Soiree in 2010. She was standing at a table near the auction items, and I was standing close by, feeling a little shy and nervous. Her smile and wink was out of the blue and surprised me. It made me laugh, and still does! I will miss her a great deal.

Sincerely,
Genevieve

Added: April 15, 2011

Submitted by
Name: Kate Parry
From: New York and Uganda

Your Story:
Many people here have mentioned Vivian's wit and sense of humour. Here's one joke of hers that I remember:

We are sitting outside their house at Gida Ukku in the hills a few miles from Jos. My parents are with us on a visit, and we all plan to go into the town for dinner. Meanwhile we are enjoying the traditional West African sundowner. It is beginning to get dark, so Vivian says something about how we ought to be moving. My father settles back in his chair, whisky in hand, and beaming on us, says, "I could sit here till the cows come home." "That's all right," says Vivian,"Here they come."

And there they were, the Fulani cattle, kicking up the dust as they passed by in the twilight.

Added: April 15, 2011

Submitted by
Name: Kate Parry
From: New York and Uganda

Your Story:
Vivian was always systematic, so let me be systematic about this. I have so much to thank her for:

* More than thirty years of unstinting hospitality. It began when I was working in Northeastern Nigeria, and the Cumminses lived in the relative metropolis of Jos. I would drive the last few miles of the eight-hour journey, weary but elated, knowing that I would soon receive a warm welcome. The welcome was no less warm whent the jourey was from New York to Ottawa. Vivian would be there to receive me, full of plans for my visit and interesting conversation, and a good meal at the end of the day.
* Sharing her wonderful family. I have had many meals at the Cummins table, some festive but most ordinary, cooked usually by the adults and cleared away by the children. I have gone on excursions with the family, to a waterfall near Jos or to an exhibition in Montreal. All the time she was teaching the children, and me, about courtesy, kindness, and common sense, and bringing everyone, including me, into a warm circle of love and friendship.
* Visiting me in my various homes. Vivian and the others came to see me in Yola soon before Steven was born, and they came for a wonderful Christmas in Jalingo a couple of years later (even if we did forget to take the sandwiches when we went to Yakoko for a picnic). Then, when I was settled in New York, Patrick and Vivian took to coming often for the Victoria Day weekend; it was the highlight of the early summer for me, whether they came alone or brought a child or two with them. I have many small kitchen items brought by Vivian as gifts on those visits, and it's because of her advice that I have the dishrack on the draining board arranged as it is today.
* Helping me with my research. It is through Vivian that I know of the Netherlands Government's 1993 report on international development, to which I will be referring in a paper I'll be delivering tomorrow. When I spent a semester at Carleton, she inducted me into the University's library system, and when I needed books on Canadian history to take to Uganda, she took me off to a bookshop to buy them. I knew that if I needed information on development issues (and I often do), she would tell me where I could find it.
* Supporting my own libraries work. When I found myself co-founding and managing a library in my Ugandan husband's home village, Vivian was generous with advice and financial backing. It was her idea, I believe, that Patrick's company should host the Kitengesa Community Library's website, and it was from her that I learned the basic principles of maintaining library records. She helped arrange the occasion for my last visit to Ottawa: a talk about Uganda's community libraries to the Ottawa chapter of SID. I hoped that she would soon be coming to see the library at Kitengesa and the other libraries with which I'm now involved; it's Uganda's great loss that she did not make it.

Vivian, you have been a wonderful friend, in far more ways than I can describe here. Thank you.

Added: April 14, 2011

Submitted by
Name: Ian Case
From: Victoria BC

Your Story:
I remember Vivian vividly from our time as your neighbours in Jos while Nora was one of my closest friends through high school and my first year back in Canada. I remember Vivian having a sometimes rather wicked sense of humour which could be quite confusing for a young boy who spent altogether too much time hanging around and playing backgammon with her daughter. I have strong memories of her saying things in a stern voice and then breaking into a huge smile and laughing — but I never felt that I was being laughed at, just that I was being let in on a joke.

During the three years we lived next door I remember many times together and how much support Vivian and Patrick provided our family. I'll never forget those time and I know the friendships that I forged with Alison and Nora will always be there. I have many fond memories of that time.

Sincerely,

Ian Case

Added: April 14, 2011

Submitted by
Name: Brenda Sutherland
From: Carleton University, Ottawa ON

Your Story:
Vivian and I worked together from the time she joined the School until I retired two years before she did. Two of the most important things that we had in common were the love of the students in the School and the love we had for our families.

Vivian managed the Resource Centre and I managed the academic portion of the students’ programs. We often would talk about students who were experiencing difficulties and would be able to put a plan of action into place that would assist with the situation. That really worked over the years. Others will certainly outline all of the wonderful things Vivian did with the Resource Centre for and about the students that passed through the School.

When she began at NPSIA Alison and Nora were living away from the home. Steven was still at home and would come into the School from time to time to help his mom. Bertha and Matthew then joined the family and made quite an impact on all of us. I recall Vivian flying out to Vancouver when Nora had her children and such a proud lady would come into the office and chat about the children. Then it was even better when Nora and the children came to visit and Vivian would come into all the offices with Nora and the kids. Vivian just loved those little people. Her face would just beam.

We shared Bertha and Matthew’s growing up. I recall on several occasions when it was Vivian’s turn to furnish a birthday cake for someone’s birthday we would comment on how wonderful the cake was. Vivian was thrilled to say that Bertha had made it. Vivian was very proud of Bertha and all that she accomplished. Matthew was the youngest and he was probably a helper the longest. We just loved it when Matthew came in to help. Matthew would come upstairs to my office and we would chat – he was not thrilled to help. He would much prefer to just sleep in and hang around as all young teenagers liked to do. I asked if his mom was paying him a handsome hourly wage. He laughed and said she was going to treat me to lunch. When lunch time came I told him to have a huge lunch. Vivian smiled and shook her head. Vivian was just the best mother.

I cannot leave out Patrick who was the love of Vivian’s life. She was absolutely wonderful supporting everything that he wished to do. All I can remember is responding “he is going where for how long” wow you are an amazing lady. She accepted all of his absences with the same way she did everything. Took a deep breath and what will come will come. We shall deal with it.

Vivian’s life ended way too soon. She was a treasure to be sure. We shall all miss her very much and can only say that if you remember her words “You need to look after each other – it will be hard – it will all work out” it might just help a little bit.

Bless you Vivian Cummins.
Brenda Sutherland

Added: April 14, 2011

Submitted by
Name: Adam Walker
From: England

Your Story:
I have no recollection of my childhood in Montreal bar vague, disconnected images, individual slides from a slideshow whose index is lost, but I remember the great warmth, affection and respect that Catherine held Vivian in.

I recall the friendship and warmth of that rainsplattered walk on Mount Royal, 34 years on, as I encountered a figure I had no memory of in adulthood, in the same way I recall the affectionate greetings in '08, when I came back to Canada, from people of whom I had no recollection, but who shared exceptionally vivid memories of my childhood where I had none; a humbling and warming experience. What words are there?

Shakespeare says that "the good men do is too oft interr'd with their bones", but the effect of the deed outlives its actor as here, and will continue to do in the places Vivian worked, the libraries she helped build. The deed is its own reward, and its own immortality.

I will be with you in spirit on Saturday, and I wish you all the best.

Yours sincerely,
Adam Walker

Added: April 14, 2011

Submitted by
Name: Rosamond Cummins
From: Cold Spring Harbor, New York

Your Story:
I remember how warm and welcoming Vivian was when I met her. Reading about all of her professional accomplishments, I am reminded that I once heard someone say that whenever somebody dies, a library burns. (Meaning that they are taking all the knowledge that they had amassed over the course of their lifetime with them.) This seems doubly true in Vivian's case.

Much love and care to her family and friends. - Roz

Added: April 14, 2011

Submitted by
Name: Perryhan Moustafa
From: Ottawa

Your Story:
I was terribly saddened by the news of Vivian's passing. I first got to know Vivian as a student at NPSIA. As for many others, Vivian's office was a little refuge from the daily trials and tribulations of student life. After I stayed on at Carleton University to work and teach, Vivian was like a mentor to me, helping me navigate the academic maze. What I liked most about Vivian was her honesty. I always knew that Vivian will tell me exactly what she thinks, even if it may not be what I would like to hear. I will never forget her advice and wish I would have listened to her more often. Vivian, you will be greatly missed!

Added: April 14, 2011

Submitted by
Name: Mahsa Hedayati

Your Story:
Vivian was a wise, highly resourceful, and kind woman. Often, between classes at NPSIA, I'd ask for her permission to enter her office, sit down, and ask her a few questions. I'd always start in academic mode, but would then sneak my way towards general discussions on life and love. I liked what she had to say so I kept sneaking back into the office to see if she'd be willing to discuss other existential queries.

What I learned through my discussions with Vivian over the years is that life is both simple and beautiful. So, Vivian, this is what I say to you: thank you for being you.

Mahsa

Added: April 14, 2011

Submitted by
Name: Deirdre Wright
From: Philadelphia PA

Your Story:
Vivian was a beautiful presence in my life in so many ways. In fact, I can't remember a time when she wasn't in my life.

When I was three, Vivian married my oldest brother and I served as "flower girl." While I don't have specific memories of that affair, I do know from photos that she was a gorgeous and beaming bride. I've heard that Pat's brothers wondered amongst themselves, "How did Pat land such a beautiful woman?" Pat was very fortunate, indeed.

Vivian was a doting mother who loved and supported her children through any challenges they might throw her way. When I became a mother, I trusted and welcomed her keen observations and appreciated her curiosity about my own children. When my oldest was diagnosed at five with Asperger Syndrome, I recalled that Vivian watched him play with blocks when he was 18 months old and said, "I think he's going to be an engineer." Post-diagnosis, she sent me many articles about Asperger Syndrome and they were always helpful, hopeful and fascinating.

I will miss Vivian's keen observations, subdued humor, calming presence, and overall beauty. However, her impact on me and all who knew her is everlasting and I feel honored to have known her as a beloved and cherished sister.

Added: April 14, 2011